The dreaded question...

There are many articles that talk about the lack of support women in this country have when it comes to the decision to work or not to work. On some level, we self-perpetuate the myth that women should be able to have a career and a family. Companies don't have day care onsite, which they should. Companies don't push to offer more time off for a mom and a new baby, which they should. You have to fight to pump your milk someplace other than the bathroom because companies want to ignore that some of the employees will lactate.

I got the question today or perhaps it was a statement on my current life choice, "SO, does this mean you'll finally quit and stay home with the kids?"

Why is it a question only for woman? I have a Masters in Electrical Engineering and a career in semiconductors spanning twelve years. It is assumed that I will give it all up. Why do we as a country not find a way to better support women and families in the work place instead of assuming that half of our workforce should be at home.

Why wasn't the question, "So, will your husband finally quit and stay home with the kids?"

We don't know how to handle professional women. Period. Let's look at the latest CEO of Yahoo. She started the job six months pregnant. Should this be a major issue? At six months pregnant there was no way she was trying to hide it. However, investors panicked. Pregnancy should be viewed as good thing. It shows that this woman is healthy and young with lots of time to invest in the company. And let's be realistic, as a CEO day care costs will not be an issue. It's a little different for those of us lower down in a company, but somehow her pregnancy upset the business world.

As a professional woman, it is hard and it is even harder to connect with other women and feel like part of a community.

Going back to work with a newborn is hard. There is no ifs ands or buts about it. You don't want to leave your baby with someone else, but your do. Not to mention, if you do not have a good day care situation (another story for another day) it goes from hard to horrible. Maybe my job situation will change, there aren't any job options for me in a small town and my boss could tire of my working remote. Until that happens, I will continue to work.

Some quiet time

I am not posting as much as I used to. I'm not sure what changed, I definitely have things to say. I am feeling as if I am talking to myself these days. Perhaps it is working by myself that is doing it. I am spending so much time alone that I don't need to write notes to myself, too. I need to find an outlet that involves real people.

Work Travel

I recently spent the last two weeks of July in India for work. On this trip we were able to get out to see some of the sites while there. I had some fantastic food, too.

This is our driver, Giri, who spent his Saturday driving us from Bangalore to Mysore. This photo overlooks the city of Mysore.

Giri is quite the tour guide. He will talk endlessly about the different sites and temples. He really enjoys sharing the beauty of his country and I wish I absorbed more of what he said.

There is SO much to see in Mysore. I really think you need a couple days just to take some of it in, but we had one very packed day.

The unfortunate problem I had was my camera battery died on the way to Mysore. Renee was nice enough to let me take photos with her camera when I really wanted a photo of something. She also gave me all of her trip images. I cannot thank her enough.

But, you will have to wait until I can go through the photos to post some of the beautiful pictures she took.


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Silence is deafening

I try to put on a smile and explain how great my working situation is, but in reality the silence SUCKS! I think it was tolerable when the kids were here with the nanny a few years back. It was a bubble of happy noise that wafted into the office during the day. Now, there is nothing. If I'm lucky I can hear the creaks and groans of the house on a windy day.

It doesn't help that the group reorganization at the office has split up our team into new groups. The latest move puts me on the silent first floor and the majority of my old group on the third floor. There is now no difference from being here or there, its just a resounding silence.

I'm sure the solitude is mostly to blame, but I find myself seeking out my co-workers in my office just to say hi. I need the human contact, even if it is my manager who would rather talk to anyone than me about the kids.

I'm not a fan of the silence. It makes me question the value of what I'm doing. I used to really enjoy what I do, but I've lost that and I'm blaming that on the silence.

Love letters

Shhh.... don't tell the office manager where I work, but I gave my son a pad of post-it notes out of my desk.

He is making great use of them, leaving love post-its all over the house.

I didn't know how much I could appreciate a pad of post-it notes.

Mom at work

Some days are harder than others to be a working mom. Its hard to not see your kids all day and to realize how your own impact on what they see and learn is lessening every day.

Did the Feminists of my childhood lie to all of us little girls when they said you truly could have it all? I'm not sure if I have it all. I have a fulfilling job and the student loans to show for it. But, am I missing out on something more fulfilling?

Isolation-burg

There is one, solo fact that seems to be omitted from any working-from-home description, you will be in isolation-ville. In my case, here in Ellensburg, it is Isolation-burg.

I am spending my life in silence (since my stereo speakers finally kicked the bucket). It is a deafening silence, without the office clatter of your co-workers or the occasional eruption from my boss in the next cube.

Its hard to connect. Its hard to make isolation-burg a home when all your connections are 2 hours west, over a mountain pass.

There needs to be some balance of personal life vs. work life. But, my personal life is becoming too personal for me.


Our Dahlias

Let the thunder roll

Seattle has a very moderate climate for weather. In fact, I can remember two thunderstorms in the 10+ years I lived there. I've always missed the big thunderstorms that we used to get late in the summer on the east coast.

We had a storm this evening. Not a big one that rocks and rolls, but enough to scare the dogs and make the kids cuddle in close. Right before the storm started, I noticed a rainbow out our front window.

Big N thought it was pretty cool.



The rainbow from my office window. It was raining at this point, bluring the view through the glass just a bit.

Freezing Fog

The view from my window today



They are calling this freezing fog. A term I hadn't heard before today. It's kind of pretty on the trees.